| I'm a walker. Do you remember that term from school? Do they still use that? Does anyone still walk? When I went to school you either took the bus or you were a walker. I was a walker from grade seven through the end. These were the years when I would refuse to wear a winter hat and once and a while my bushy awkward hair actually froze on the way to school.
I'm still a walker, I've managed for the last ten years to maintain a living which required no wheeled transportation (except to get to gigs). I'm not tired of pedestrianism, I'm a fan.
But, you know, things happen that sometimes aren't too cool. For me, the worst thing is when someone in a car stops to let me cross when there's really no reason for them to. Now I have to rush across the street instead of just ambling across after letting them pass. You know, if there is no traffic on the street, I'd much rather have you just pass by. It doesn't do me much good for you to stop, really. But, whatever, it's all good intentions. So that's cool.
But today. Oh, man, today. Today, a car stopped for me in one lane. The close lane, but the other lane was still streaming with cars who had no intention of stopping. So, I couldn't cross. Now the first car was sitting there holding up traffic. And I was standing there waiting for a break in the traffic in the other lane. And then the stopped car honked at me! And the driver waved his hand as if to say "Dude, cross already!".
But, I couldn't cross because that white van in the other lane was a lot bigger than I am. So I pointed to the van as if to say, "I don't want to get hit by that van, dude." But really all I did was point. It's hard to express a complex situation to someone in a sealed off car who obviously has no perception of the world around them.
Finally a break came and I could cross. That guy didn't do me a favor and I'm sure he was driving away shaking his head thinking that was the last time he would try and help out a pedestrian. And there I was feeling guilty for some reason at holding everyone up even though I never asked for help from nobody. It was so funny that I tore off my legs and threw them into a tree.
I'm still a walker, I've managed for the last ten years to maintain a living which required no wheeled transportation (except to get to gigs). I'm not tired of pedestrianism, I'm a fan.
But, you know, things happen that sometimes aren't too cool. For me, the worst thing is when someone in a car stops to let me cross when there's really no reason for them to. Now I have to rush across the street instead of just ambling across after letting them pass. You know, if there is no traffic on the street, I'd much rather have you just pass by. It doesn't do me much good for you to stop, really. But, whatever, it's all good intentions. So that's cool.
But today. Oh, man, today. Today, a car stopped for me in one lane. The close lane, but the other lane was still streaming with cars who had no intention of stopping. So, I couldn't cross. Now the first car was sitting there holding up traffic. And I was standing there waiting for a break in the traffic in the other lane. And then the stopped car honked at me! And the driver waved his hand as if to say "Dude, cross already!".
But, I couldn't cross because that white van in the other lane was a lot bigger than I am. So I pointed to the van as if to say, "I don't want to get hit by that van, dude." But really all I did was point. It's hard to express a complex situation to someone in a sealed off car who obviously has no perception of the world around them.
Finally a break came and I could cross. That guy didn't do me a favor and I'm sure he was driving away shaking his head thinking that was the last time he would try and help out a pedestrian. And there I was feeling guilty for some reason at holding everyone up even though I never asked for help from nobody. It was so funny that I tore off my legs and threw them into a tree.
3 comments:
Is the tree on Trumbull? I thought those legs were yours.
Well done! You win the mad-mad-mad scavenger hunt! Your prize? A date with Dom Delouise.
Gasp. I'll need a new frock.
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