Irony of the week

I thought I'd do this on a weekly basis and I do, at school, but I never fell into the routine of adding it to the Rockumentary. And now I'm not sure which ironies I've already posted so I'm going to pore through the archives and select my favorites over the year and dump them all into this one post. Posts here have been scarce this week (and mine in general have dropped way off this year) so please, dear reader, take your time and savor each one.


The term for a person who has an excessive fear, or phobia, of long words is a hippopotomonstrosesequippedaliophobic.
-Tess


A very self-centered pilot realizes that the plane he is operating is about to crash so he neglects all the passengers and jumps out with a parachute. The plane crashes gently into a swamp and all the passengers survive but the pilot’s parachute never opens.
-Marissa


A bride is very worried that it will rain on her wedding day and that her expensive wedding gown will get wet so she holds the wedding indoors in Arizona on the hottest day of the year. However, as a result, she sweats profusely all day and the gown gets soaked.
-Henry


You’re walking down the hall when somebody who doesn’t like you rudely throws a heart-shaped piece of Valentine’s candy at you with the words “Be My Friend” on it.
-Erin


In order to help restore some damaged files on her hard drive, a student inserted a repair disc, which somehow caused the entire computer to freeze, a situation worse than before. Now, for what reason did this occur? The repair disc had scratches on it and was in need of repair.
-Jess


On Wednesday morning at breakfast, Mr. N pointed out to me an ironic situation that occurred at the morning faculty meeting the day before: Dr. R announced that a few faculty members had been missing some of the meetings and reminded us that all faculty members are expected to be present at them. However, if you were one of the faculty members that was likely to miss the meeting, chances are, you weren’t there at this meeting to hear the announcement. I agreed with Mr. N that this was a funny irony and deserved to be the irony of the week. However, while we were talking about this ironic situation concerning the faculty that had been missing the faculty meetings, we then noticed that it was 7:45 A.M. and the two of us were in the dining hall when we were supposed to be, you guessed it, at that day’s faculty meeting.
-Mr. N & Mr. Westcott


I know how to say “I don’t speak German” in German. (Ich spreche Deutsch nicht.)
-Tess


As part of a conversation between Theo and Dan in the computer lab regarding the use of vocabulary, Dan was heard to remark, “Hey, I use big words a lot!”
-Theo & Dan


When Mr. Ware visits his mother in Springfield, he usually ends up having a soda. If presented with a 12 oz. can, Mr. Ware usually doesn’t finish it. However, if his mother has the 8 oz. size cans to offer, he’ll polish off at least two of them without any problem.
-Mr. Ware


I had trouble locating an important paper I needed for my peer mentor program and I was convinced it was somewhere in my dorm room. Therefore, I spent a good hour cleaning up my dorm room in order to find it but couldn’t. The next day, I noticed the peer mentor form I’d been looking for was in my recycling bin- I must’ve thrown it away in my cleaning frenzy, the purpose of which was to find that paper.
-Brooks


For hundreds of years in the Western musical tradition, the interval known as a tri-tone was considered to be “diabolus in musica,” or, the “devil’s music.” (Legend has it that deliberate use of this interval could result in musicians being excommunicated from the church). The tri-tone is an element of diminished chords, two of which are prominently used in ex-Beatle George Harrison’s song “My Sweet Lord,” a reverent ode to Hinduism’s Lord Vishnu as well as the Abrahamic God of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam.
-Erin (w/ background info provided by Mr. Westcott)


For my Organization and Time Management class, I was given two days to complete for homework an essay on how to avoid procrastination. I wrote the paper during lunch, ten minutes before it was due in class.
-Ian


Last week, after the ice storm, the campus walkways were sanded down to make them safer for walking. Nevertheless, I actually slipped on a pile of sand and scraped my knee.
-Cady


Throughout The Wizard of Oz, each of Dorothy’s friends is hoping to acquire something they think they lack (a brain, a heart, courage) but each character’s behavior on the journey shows that they’ve had these things all along. Meanwhile, Dorothy only wishes to return home, when in fact, she has been home all along.
-Colleen


I'm allergic to Allegra.
-Tess