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The following was written to my grad school classmates of last year but it explains a few things the Rockumentary audience might want to read about. I'm still clawing my way towards something resembling leisure time but I'm not quite there yet so this'll have to do for now.
Greetings from the border of the Quabbin reservoir, where the 3 mile drive through the country road I live on to school each day is a virtual video game wherein the motorist must dodge chipmunks, squirrels, rabbits, turtles, deer, frogs, wild turkeys, obstinate birds that don’t always fly away as the car approaches, neighbor’s dogs (including a Great Dane that’s the size of my car), and surly-eyed farmers leading churlish bovines across the road. I like to think that it’s the spirit of Sarah Whitten still riding shoeless shotgun with me that has made me successful in avoiding hitting all of the above. Which reminds me, Sarah. Remember our list of should-be-forbidden words? Add “leafpeeper” to it, if you would.
My apologies to all who tried contacting me via email recently. Toward the end of the summer, I completely overlooked the fact that my email account was expiring and so when September 1st came, I found that my password was denied. No more inbox, no more address book, instead I could only imagine the curt messages sent to my friends and contacts telling them that their message would not be received. So the email address book rebuilding process has only just begun.
The writer in me wants very much to launch into a 2000 word essay upon my first month and a half at my new school (which if you don’t already know, is a private boarding school for students with various learning disabilities, or, multiple learning styles as I like to think of it). The situation is that there are so many other pressing matters to attend to and so I really can’t write much now. Nonetheless, before I sign off here, I’ll address briefly how I am enjoying it here so far. Let’s put it this way. While sitting here typing the previous paragraph, I was briefly interrupted by a hug from behind by a student in my American Literature class, coupled with the exclamation “Westcott! You know you’re just as ADD as we are; don’t try to deny it!” before she trotted back out into the hall on the journey to her first period class. A few things. Number One- in direct contrast to Springfield, where the kids often refer to their teachers only by ‘Mister’ and ‘Miss,’ here the students leave off that part and call their teachers by surname only. Number Two- Because I chew on pen caps and my fingernails, juggle chalk, and play with Star Wars figures while teaching, because of my propensity to skip around novels focusing only on the good parts, because I can’t go through a list in order from one to ten (I might start with #1 but will then jump to #6 and might even disregard #2 and #10 altogether because we’re all ready to move on), because I can think and talk and write while music plays in the background, many of my students are convinced I have ADD just like they do. At their insistence, I took several online tests and the answer was- Very Probable for Adult Inattentive Non-Hyperactive Type ADD.
But most importantly, Number Three- whether or not I could actually be diagnosed with any kind of disorder, the message that’s coming through to me is that the kids want to relate to me, they want me to be one of them and that’s a pretty powerful feeling of acceptance to receive so early in my tenure here. Of course, it’s not all cupcakes and flowers- one particular class gives me fits on a daily basis, but by and large, I’m thrilled to be here, and happy I made this decision. Most significantly, I’m already starting to see the progress made by certain students from work we’ve done together in these classes, and that’s really what this is all about. The wife loves the house the school gave us in which to live, the daughter loves the huge yard, and the new teacher wakes everyday at 5:50 AM feeling eager, content, important, and lucky. In the ten years I spent waking up to perform all the other jobs on my resume before coming here, I cannot recall such an occurrence. It’s my sincere hope that each one of you dear classmates is also in a similar mental/emotional/spiritual place or headed there soon.
Cheers,
Tony W.
2 comments:
I have adult ADD and take meds for it. it's made quite a difference. although I still go off 'em on weekends sometimes to get that spacey, mind-racing,lost-in-the-sauce feeling...
I still wonder whether I could actually be diagnosed with any kind of disorder. However, some of the questions on those online surveys really struck a nerve, particularly those relating to being overwhelmed with many thoughts at once, significant difficulties starting projects (I always use my own metaphor of feeling like I'm constantly circling an airport before I decide on doing anything), inability to proceed through work in a linear, or orderly fashion- (for instance, right now, I'm writing this while I have two documents open- one a partially written classroom behavior contract, the other a partially written grading contract, and my desk shows I'm almost halfway through my preps for tomorrow. All four are being worked on at the same time and all will eventually be finished but I will shift my attention from one to another every few minutes. I seem to focus better this way and also have learned that I like to shift gears between idea generating, first drafts, and revising and editing frequently). Ask my wife about how I packed and unpacked the house when we moved, how I put away dishes, etc. It makes her crazy but for some reason, I prefer to do a few spoons, then some bowls, then the cups, then some more spoons, etc. It's so stupid when I think about it but it just feels right that way. And it gets done in the end.
Although I have some of the physical manifestations that one would associate with ADD (needing to keep my hands busy, nailbiting, pen cap/guitar pick chewing, etc.), what was more striking to me was learning that Adult ADD Inattentive Type sufferers are often able to fall asleep anytime, anywhere. Some of you who went on tour with me in April saw evidence of this. My in-laws, who provide me with a haven for indulging in this, would agree as well.
On the other hand, without any sort of medication, I believe I've been able to achieve many things, especially in my education, and I wonder how possible it would be if I really did have a disorder. In other words, I might skip around my readings and have to reread a sentence or a paragraph several times to be able to pay attention to it long enough to comprehend it but I always thought this was normal and have learned to do this and still enjoy reading. However, if the type of reading is something like a newspaper, I will jump around and start articles, switch to others and still come back to ones I'd begun later. It's so weird that I've never really given this much thought but now realize it's how I like to do things. But doesn't everybody channel-surf through life like this in some way or another? Or don't many of you? Certainly we all don't have a disorder? On one hand, I feel like all these kids who have been diagnosed with ADD would know and recognize it in someone else; on the other hand, I feel like the hypochondriac who listens as someone lists the symptoms and decides they're afflicted.
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