The Living Rockumentary

Adventures in New York City Part 2

Sunday began nicely. Well rested from the really comfortable bed and well cleaned and relaxed from the multi-headed massaging shower, we packed up and checked out. The woman behind the desk called valet parking for us (something we should have done from the room since it takes 15-20 minutes for the car to come around) and we went outside to wait.

Outside, we tried to plan the day, first we would find some good breakfast. Lesa was jonesing for pancakes. Then we would drive to Ikea in Elizabeth, NJ and peruse what we have been told is a wonderful store. Maybe we would even buy some new furniture for the dining room, chairs that don’t collapse when you sit on them, that kind of stuff.

Right outside the hotel, there are heat lamps in the awning to keep guests warm while they await their cars, or limos, or taxis. The day was little chilly, really, probably in the low 40’s but under the lamps it wasn’t too bad. We got to snicker at all the fancy people who came out of the hotel dressed not well enough for the actual coldness of the day but who, when passing beneath the heat lamps, said things like, “Oh, it’s beautiful out! I‘m glad I didn’t wear my 3,000 dollar hat.” Half a block later we could see them clutching their coats with their hair blowing in the wind, wondering what had happened.

So, that was entertaining for a while, and the doormen were nice and entertaining, and our view was out over the stark winter park with horse drawn carriages walking past. That was pretty nice for the first 15 minutes. But we were there for more than 15 minutes.

After an hour of being reassured that the valet parking was running way behind, I asked them to specifically check on our car since all the other people who had been waiting a long time had already gotten their cars. The guy took my ticket and went inside to check.

Meanwhile, we kept watching car after car (Saab, Volvo, Mercedes, BMW, Farrari, Lexus, Jaguar) come and go. We stood and waited for my light blue crappy Geo. We were country mice waiting for our straw carriage in a world of city mice with money coming out of their big micey ears.

Finally, the guy returned from the hotel followed by a young woman who looked very concerned. This can’t be good. She told me that there was a problem. That the muffler on my car had fallen off and the valet parkers couldn’t move my car until it was repaired which could take a couple of hours. We went back inside to wait for the head of hotel security who was supposed to know more details.

We sat down in the plush chairs of what, on first impression, looked like a comfortable lobby. Unfortunately, it wasn’t any warmer in the lobby than it was outside and we were sitting there with our jackets on, growing very hungry, when the head of security came around. He needed me to come to the garage to talk to the head of parking so I could find out what happened.

So, Lesa stayed behind in the cold, cold lobby and I walked the windy streets a few blocks with the Head of Security (HOS). In the garage, I met Junior Middleton who told me that the muffler was hanging half off and that some bolts were missing (pessimistic really, I mean he could have said the muffler was hanging half on). He said the best thing we could do was to have AAA come and tow it to a place where they could properly refasten it.

My initial thought was, let me just see it and maybe we can tie it up so that we can get out of this city and get some breakfast. But, I went along with the plan. At this point, I still hadn’t seen the car since it was at yet another garage further away. I figured the more distant garage was where the parked the Geos and what-not.

So, me and HOS went back to the hotel where he found me the number for AAA and set me up at a desk with a phone. I called AAA and the woman said that I would get a call back in 10-15 minutes from the towing company. So, we waited in the cold, cold lobby for another 10-15 minutes. The HOS offered us some coffee or a drink but we declined, feeling now nauseous from not eating. Also I wanted to make sure I remained in a situation where I could hear and answer my cell phone when they called.

Finally they called back after about 20 minutes and said that they would be at the garage sometime between now and two hours from now. I knew what that meant. That meant two hours from now. She said that they would call me ten minutes before getting to the garage so that we would have time to walk over there and meet the truck. Initially, HOS suggested we go over and wait, but I didn’t want to wait for 2 hours in front of a parking garage in the cold wind. So, instead, we sat more in the cold, cold lobby.

At this point we were both starting to get woozy from lack of food and being cold all the time. I walked back to try and find a restroom and ran into HOS who said there was a Hotel engineer who would be happy to bolt the muffler back onto the car as soon as the tow-truck came around so it could lift it while he went beneath. So, now when the tow truck gave me the ten minute warning I was supposed to find HOS who would call the engineer and we would all go over there.

I was terrified that when the two truck finally did come, we were gonna take too long to meet him and he was going to leave and we would have to wait another two hours. So, I clutched the cell phone, like it was a magic ring, and we sat. And sat. And sat. And sat. It soon became clear that there was no Ikea in our near future and no pancakes either.

We sat in the cold, both of us miserable, and watched people checking in to the St. Regious Spa next door. We listened to people have conversations on their cell-phones. But mostly we just sat in silence, shivering and waiting.

After over two hours, the cell phone beeped that there was a voice mail message. It was almost impossible to understand but we determined that it was the tow truck driver and he was already at the garage and he was looking for us. I called him back immediately and said we would be right over. Then I found a woman who said she would call the engineer and tell him to meet us at the garage.

Lesa and I gathered up our luggage and walked as fast as we could through the cold wind-tunnels of New York City to 66nd Street. On the way, I called Junior Middleton and told him to meet us at the garage.

When we finally go to the garage, I saw my car was already up on the bed of a tow truck and Junior was examining the muffler. He showed me how it was hanging. Someone had tied it up with an electrical cord. We spoke to the tow-truck driver and I asked him where we could take it, since the AAA operator had said the driver would be able to recommend a good local place. He said he would bring us back to his garage and ask his boss if he could just fix it up for us.

Junior gave me his cell phone number so I could keep him posted and Lesa and I got up in the cab of the tow truck where for the first time in four hours, it wasn’t cold.

We rode in the truck for a few blocks until we got to the garage and followed the driver, who was very nice and friendly, into see his boss. His boss was a scary looking guy sitting in a depressing dingy office. His boss said, “They gots to tell you where they want to take it. We caint make no recommendation.” He looked at me and said, “You know where you want it towed?” I said that we weren’t from around here and he just shrugged and said, “You got to know where you want it towed.” And looked back at whatever it was he was looking at on his “desk”.

The driver asked his boss if he could take a look at the muffler out front and the boss said something along the lines of “knock your self out.” So, the driver ran down and got a couple of bolts and, with a little help from me, he took the car off the truck and then hoisted it up so he could get under it. There, he bolted up the muffler and tightened the nuts and I started up the engine and it sounded pretty good, considering there was no seal between the sections of pipe.

I figured that if he didn’t ask me for any money that I would give him 40 bucks since he was saving us a lot of heartache and time and money in trying to figure out how to fix it. Sure, I could have done it myself except. 1.) Where can you put a car with a hanging muffler in NYC to work on it. 2.) How could I raise the car enough to slide under it. 3.) Where would I get the bolts or even a coat hanger to tie it up and 4.) I didn’t know how easy it really was until I saw it when the car had been raised.

So I asked him what I owed him and he asked for 50 bucks since he had to share it with his boss for letting him do it. I was more than fine with that. At the point I was ready to just rip the muffler off completely just to get out of the chaos.

We got in the car, turned the heat all the way up and vowed to not stop for breakfast (3:30PM) until we got out of the city, all the while wincing at every pot hole and bump in the road in fear that the muffler would fall. Finally, we ate at about quarter to five. I never called back Junior.

So, you are thinking, shouldn’t the Hotel have paid for your repair service since the muffler broke when they had it? Probably, but, the muffler had been starting to make noise a few days earlier, it was on its way out, they probably just hit a pot hole or went up a ramp really fast to knock out the last bolt. I don’t blame them. I’m sure if I was the type of person to pursue these things I could have gotten us some good retribution but, I’m not that kind of person and I was more than willing to give up anything like that to just put it all behind us and get on with the few remaining dregs of our weekend. I suppose it would have been worse if it fell off in the middle of Broadway. In a way, I guess we were lucky, but despite my description above it was more of a dismal day than you are imagining. Trust me.

It’ll be a while until we go back to NYC, I think. Next time we’ll take a train and we’ll ask the temperature of the lobby of any hotel we might consider. We probably will make a day trip down to Ikea sometime soon, though. Now, I have to go get my muffler fixed.