Henning's secret nest egg

If you follow the Rockumentary regularly you may have noticed that Henning has dropped a number of hints regarding a big secret purchase. He's excited by it, and for good reason. At one time or another I think all of us have dreamed of owning one. It's an expensive purchase - and one not to take lightly - but I'm very happy he has made the move into (what some consider) adulthood.

Henning bought an ostrich.

I arrived at rehearsal last night and noticed a funny smell coming from the apartment. I knew it wasn't Lesa's lasagna, which looked fabulous. I greeted Brian and he raised his eyebrow, as if to silently say "I know. It smells bad. How do we tell them?". I could hear a weird sound coming from the upstairs rehearsal/recording studio. Lots of stomping - pause - rustle - pause - stomp stomp stomp - extended pause - heavy stomps followed by what sounded like a file cabinet falling over. Lesa shrugged and headed back into the kitchen. Brian and I hesitated before following the odor (best described as "burned cheeseburger mothballs") upstairs.

Henning had calmed ostrich down a bit and it had settled into a nest of pillows by the bass amp. If you've never seen the bird close-up, it's pretty ugly. But after hanging out with it for a while, it's still pretty ugly. I asked Henning why an ostrich, and not a more manageable pet, oh, say, a DOG, and he bent down to pat the giant beast. "I thought it could help me promote my new record", he said calmly. His new record is called "Looks Like I'm Tall", and I thought, well, maybe this is brilliant. "And, have you seen their eggs?!?", he continued. "Big as footballs. We had an omelet yesterday that fed twenty people".

We spent the next hour rehearsing very quietly in advance of our Basement show next Saturday and the Ostrich seemed to mostly ignore us. She cocked her head and bobbed up and down to Brian's "Vegas Youth", but spat up when we attempted a George Harrison cover. Oh well, you can't please everyone. I suggested naming her Hen, which I thought was funny, but it kind of fell flat. Brian pitched Joni (he's always naming his pets after '70s-era female singer/songwriters). Henning calls her Ozzy Ostrich.

Maybe Henning will bring Ozzy to his next CD release party.