Gag Dairy

Why are you reading my trite tripe when you could be reading Chris Greenland's mix of wit 'n' heartbreak? G'head- the link's somewhere there on the left. If you don't know where to start, scroll back until you find the one about the home makeover TV show ruining the family's life. I saw that show once and couldn't help wondering some of the same things that Chris does. Read and belly chortle.

So last Friday night, we played a set of music bookended by those utterly charming alt-universe teen pop mag heart throbs Jason & Elise and the smoove sounds of Markmellifluousmulcahy. It was a strange delight to hear a Flaming Lips chestnut sung so perfectly on-key. And what a band. Having Ken Maiuri playing drums is kinda like having a guy who can throw a 95 mile per hour fastball straight over the plate pinch-hitting in the 9th inning while the Jewish Italian .350 hitter sits at the bar but it's all good. Kennie does it all. Add Kevin O'Rourke to that impressive list of fellas who can play bass and sing well simultaneously. And the versatile Trenholmenbusch to fill out the sound in any way imaginable and you can't go wrong. Well, you can have a monitor melting and emitting a burnt plastic odor and take 80 minutes between each song but when the music starts, it sucks
you
in.

Ahem. Here's SFTD's official set list:

Pick A Gripe
Periscope
She's Getting Anxious
Disgruntled Lover
V-66
This Time It Looks Good
Punk Rock Girl (Dead Milkmen cover)
Photobooth Curtain
Back To School
Journal Of Lies
Something's Taking Over
Heart Of The Sunrise (Yes snippet)/ Omnivore

Well, that's what happens when Ken is involved in the set list generation process. He keeps us sharp, always poking us in the ribs with whynots? and whatifs? I can't say I made it through all of 2005 without breaking a string but I came pretty close and it was hardly traumatic. Dave Trenholm graciously lent me his guitar and I missed only half of "She's Getting Anxious," a song that could've sounded fine without my part anyway. I did sit out the manic romp intro to "Heart Of The Sunrise," not because I dislike prog-rock, though. I probably do dislike it but the truth is- I just don't know it. I've never heard this particular piece and admit it would've taken me much time to learn that little bit, only to be doubling what Henning already could do. Maybe in the future if we play 15 seconds of some Lynyrd Skynyrd song (now that's my cuppa classic rock), I'll be down but I was outta my element with Yes. My own 15 second contribution, "Here Comes Subordinate Clause" delivered whilst Henning was in the process of fetching a capo, spoke to SFTD's geeky side, which was all but obliterated by the 15 seconds of prog. Leave it to a teacher to be uncool. In case you're wondering:

Here comes subordinate clause, here comes subordinate clause
Right down sentence structure lane
With dangling participles and double negatives
Is it lie, lay, laid, or lain?
Be careful of your tenses
Watch out for run-on sentences
Your pronoun should have a clear antecedent
Placing commas within quotations is the correct punctuation
And make sure your subject and verb are in agreement

-Anthony Westcott (1971-)