The Living Rockumentary

From the archives:


Henning says: Musician Promotion Class - Lesson One: POSTERING

One of the reasons to start a band is so you can make posters and then hang them up around town. Some people call them "flyers". I call them "posters". I feel "posters" has a more artistic and less advertisement ring to it. A poster is something that you hang up in your bedroom. A flyer is something that you recycle with the paper.

Making posters is fun. Don't let anyone try to convince you differently. If you hear some hipper-than-thou wank say that they have to make a poster, just nod and acknowledge them. Later, you can muse about whether they really were put-out by their duties or whether they were pretending they were. I would like everyone to say "I get to make a poster." rather than "I have to". I mean, how much of an inconvenience is that anyway? How incredibly action-packed our lives must be when making a little poster is an interruption. Of course, I am biased, being somebody who enjoys visual design - both doing it and admiring it. Mayeb you don't enjoy it, you weird freak.

When should you make a poster? You should make a poster (and copies of it) for every show that you play. If it is out-of-town, send a bunch of them to the club. Even if the lazy bastard who runs the place never bothers to hang them up, at least you tried, and at least the booking agent might have noticed that you are making an effort to bring people into his club. If the show is in you town, or in a near-by town, you should go out and hang up a bunch of them yourself. Even if people don't stop and read them, or even if they do and they don't go to the show, there is always the benefit of name recognition.

Name recognition is good on two levels. Well, probably more but what the hell do I know? One is that the more people hear your name, obviously the more likely they are to check you out sometime and the more "professional" they think you are. The other is for ego reasons. Say, for instance that you are getting your hair cut and your cute hair-stylist asks you what the name of your band is, it's a nice feeling when she says, excitedly, yeah, I've heard of you guys.

Where should you hang your posters?It kind of depends on your town. Here in Northampton, it is against the law to hang posters outside on public property (lamp posts, bus stops, the mayor.) but just about everyone does. Even the large venues do. The only time you have a problem is if a cop actually sees you doing it. Or if one of the town's DO-GOODERS sees you. And this town is full of DO-GOODERS. DO-GOODERS are generally older men who are angry and frustrated. They enjoying tearing posters off of public buildings because: 1.) It helps clean up the city. 2) It gives them some sense of power over the constantly changing tides of the new generations and their nonsense. There are a couple of DO-GOODERS who own stores on Main St. and feel that they need to keep the streets clean so that they can get more business from richer cleaner people. The DO-GOODERS are a pain but they have as much right to rip down a poster as you have to put one up, so I guess you can't complain too much. Especially since the law is on their side. I'll tell you what though, no DO-GOODER is a friend of mine when I have to rehang my posters every hour because they keep ripping them down and throwing them away.

You should also hang posters on any interior bulletin board. Once you become aware of them you'll be surprised at how many there are. Do me a favor though, when you are hanging up posters on a bulletin board, please, don't cover up other people's posters - unless they are advertising an event that has already passed. Don't put your own needs above those of others. It might result in some more exposure but it is selfish and evil. Besides, if you do that, someone like me will remove your selfishly placed monster and toss it away to reveal mine again. Kind of like I did today to that "Are You Suffering From Any Of These Symptoms?" new age scam sign that was placed squarely on top of my School for the Dead poster. Yeah, I have a beef. Real new age-y, you selfish, capitalist hog, I got some instant karma for you right there in the trash can.

What should your poster look like? Ha, well it depends what kind of band you are in. Here's a list of proper posters for different genres. These rules MUST be followed.

1.) Heavy Metal: The poster must be white on black. There needs to be at least one lightening bolt and one skull, barring that, you can have a woman in an american flag bikini, or a drawing of a guy in a crazy dune buggy with one of his eyes buggin out. Exceptable colors: Red and Lime-Green.

2.) Folk: Must include a picture of you with a guitar. The background can be either a misty lake or the brick wall of a coffee shop stage. If you can afford it, be sitting on a stool in a ring of light from a spotlight. The text must include the phrase "An evening with..."

3.) Punk / Indie Hard Core: Sign must be messily handwritten on white background. There could be a copy of a cut-out of a famous kitsch celebrate or George Bush doing something silly. Absolutely has to have the word "fuck" somewhere in the text. It is suggested that you go ahead and forget to include either the date of the show or the venue where the show is going to be.

4.) Jam Band: Your band name must be written in a swoopy fonted logo. Put a quote from a local paper celebrating your guitar skills and infectious groove. Include all the names of the other 19 bands playing at the festival. Yes, it WILL be a festival. And most importantly, two words: Pot Leaf.

5.) Cover / Party / Swing / Jazz / Blues / General Business Band: There will be a black and white photo of the band posing with their instruments. The horns must be highlighted. The drummer can hold a pair of sticks. All of the members of the band must be wearing suits. If there is a woman singer (yes, she will be the singer..maybe possibly the piano player..I doubt you have a cellist or flutist) she should be wearing an ill-fitting evening gown. Most members must have moustaches (please, men only). One will wear a hat. If there is a pianist I can not recommend strongly enough a shiny thin tie with a piano keyboard design. It should be a nice glossy poster since this is the only band on this list that has any money.

6.) Solo Female Singer / Songwriter: A nice color photo of in a flowered dress will do nicely. Make sure you have a quote from a woman's music consortium expressing your soulfull unique blend of jazz, pop, folk, and world music. If you are young, your voice should betray your age with it's maturity, if you are older you should "sing with youthful exuberance." Either way, you must mention your voice. You are after all, female.

7.) Ska: Just save us all some time and write the word Ska and the date and venue.

8.)Indie Pop / Rock Pop: Be ironic and self concious while trying to give off a feeling of loving all styles of art. Include a picture of a small child in a cowboy hat, a reference to a late 70's or 80's board game, video game, or television show, or use a clip-art picture of a 1940's pin-up model. Include the word POP.

That's a basic run down. If you have a different kind of band you might just follow path number 5. It's very popular.

Good luck with your postering. If you have any questions please ask me, or just put it on a poster and stick it to my face. I don't care, I'm not going anywhere.