The Living Rockumentary

This is a weird one. Maybe it's because I've never seen The Osbournes' TV show that I feel like i'm just, ahem, writing out of my ass.

Osbournes Chosen As Nielsen Family; Pop Culture Devours Itself

HOLLYWOOD, CA- In an event eerily similar to the collapse of the “World Wide Web” last month when a mirror vortex swallowed the entire internet due to stocks of “ebay Corp.” being sold on ebay.com, the phenomenon known as “Pop Culture,” too, has officially devoured itself.
A tragic sequence of events had been put into place three weeks ago when an episode of MTV’s hit show “The Osbournes,” a reality TV show that chronicled the day-to-day life of rock music singer Ozzy Osbourne and his unconventional family, aired. On that episode, son Jack Osbourne can be seen viewing the TV set in his bedroom, which is broadcasting an episode of “The Osbournes.” The following week, The Nielsen Group, a company which randomly selects American families to track their TV viewing habits for a week, chose the Osbourne Family to take part in its survey.
Last Friday night, as TV crews ran tape on the Osbourne family (father Ozzy, mother Sharon, son Jack and daughter Kelly) gathering in the family livingroom to watch the latest episode of their own TV show, slight tremors could be felt within the home, but those in attendance cited the common occurrence of California earthquakes as the probable cause at the time.
However, when the scene aired of Jack watching himself on TV and the TV cameras captured Jack watching himself watching himself on TV with mother Sharon concurrently in the process of noting that the Osbournes were watching the Osbournes on TV as TV cameras rolled, a hellish vortex of fire engulfed the family and TV crew, and a second later, all had vanished imperceptibly, allegedly into another dimension. Since this tragic event took place, all “Pop Culture” has effectively been entirely erased.
Efforts to rebuild “Pop Culture” in all of its former glory have begun with a couple in Passaic, New Jersey who claim to recall words to a piece of music about love and its relation to both lunar rays and a savory mixture of baked bread dough, tomatoes and cheese sung by an Italian-American gentleman who lived in the mid-20th century.