The Living Rockumentary

TV coincidences popping up all over. Yesterday I received an email from Brian and Ken asking if I could videotape an A&E special on NRBQ. I had to write back telling them that I no longer have TV and couldn't do so. Well, we do have a TV and technically we do have cable because we use a cable modem but we don't plug the cable into the TV. Or we haven't since... exactly a year ago- the last thing I watched on our TV was the Super Bowl. Last spring, after having abandoned the tube (too much of a distraction with the little one), we were chosen to be a Nielsen family. They sent us the diary, I wrote lines through every day of the week to show that nothing was watched. Last week we were notified that we have again been chosen as a Nielsen family this year.

I did see some TV over the holidays at the in-laws but that's a whole other story in itself, one I remember telling Lesa and Henning at Jake's one late night and I'll tell to you now, if you'd like to read it. My in-laws have one of those immense screen TVs (I don't know the exact measurements but it's twice as big as our TV screen) with a Surround sound system with speakers placed all over the livingroom. And my in-laws have the TV on all day, even if they're not watching. For instacne, even when my mother-in-law is home alone doing chores around the house, she'll put on VH-1 and use it like a radio. And all weekend, it's funny animal videos, home improvement shows and endless car shows and racing events with evening cop shows at night. However, there's a catch. Despite the aforementioned set-up, one cannot watch TV at the in-laws! Why? During the day, the sun streams in through the large windows, making it impossible to actually see the screen. At night, there are a few lamps in the back of the livingroom that are so bright, all you can see are their reflections. (During the holidays, half the screen is blocked by the protruding Christmas tree and decorations from one-half of the room). But at least you can hear it, right? Nope! My father-in-law loves clocks that talk (and thermometers too). Every half-hour, chimes are going off or the time is being announced from the various clocks and every once in a while, the thermometer will inform us of the current temperatures indoors and out. And between these interruptions, my wife and mother small talk incessantly. Now don't get me wrong- I'm not complaining here. I just think the whole thing is funny. My father-in-law has become quite talented in blocking out the excess noise in the room and somehow they must've over the years made eye adjustments to cope with what I think are viewing problems. But as for me, if I spend the weekend at their house and the TV is on all day, I still won't watch hardly anything. I don't care about car racing or cop shows anyway and although they always ask if there's something I want to watch, I'm so out-of-touch with what's on, I just don't really even bother. God bless 'em. It's always a mini-vacation when I visit the in-laws. I become like one of their cats. I spend inordinate amounts of time napping and eating. I leave books there to read and have a stereo in the guest room. Grandma eagerly takes over the baby chores, Tony just chills. Wake up at 10 am, go down for a nap at 2, wake up for dinner around 5, in bed by 10. Oh yeaahhh.